As we move into Christmas season, many people will find themselves in social situations they may not want to be in. They may find themselves sitting next to distant relatives or acquaintances who are tedious, obnoxious, annoying, pedantic, weird, bombastic, stupid, or all of the above.
For these situations, I would like to provide a handy guide to party conversation that will help anyone to be completely comfortable in any social situation and conversing with anyone.
Ten years ago, in a period when I went to even more parties than usual, I observed that close to 90% of conversations were essentially content-free. There are in fact many, many things that can be said that are ALWAYS appropriate at ANY point in ANY conversation. This means that you can say these phrases, irrespective of what the other person has just said, and it will always be a relevant way to continue the conversation and appear to be a brilliant conversationalist. I then engaged in a long-term research project, spanning many parties, in which I compiled a list of these “appropriate phrases” that can be used at any point in a conversation.
In the spirit of Christmas generosity, I now share these phrases with the world. Before you go to your next party, memorize a few of the phrases to use. If you prefer, print out the list, and surreptitiously refer to it during the conversation. No one is likely to notice, given your outstanding conversational skills.
Have fun with the 335 phrases listed here, and please add any other “always-appropriate” conversational gambits below when you have completed your Christmas party research. Happy partying!
You expect me to believe that?
That’s a good one
I’ll drink to that
Truer words were never spoken
Have you ever said that to anyone else before?
If something’s worth saying once, it’s worth saying twice
Could you say that again for me in a low, sexy voice?
I’m sure you can do better than that. Take 2!
Just give me one last pearl of wisdom, and then I have to go
Are you an actor, or are you always like this?
We don’t go for that sort of thing where I come from
Lots of people tell me I have a sick mind. Do you think so?
You’re joking
Enough small talk. How about it, then?
Do you understand what you just said?
Do you know for a moment there I almost believed you
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